Smile, Crocodile! #6

A reminder take care of yourself and your body before it decides to shut down on its own.

I’ve spent the past 6+ months dealing with newfound symptoms of chronic illness. On its own that was a lot to think about on it’s own but made me realize how much weight I put on my self worth as an artist was tied to quantity of what I was putting out into the world. There have been a couple of times where I felt like I was almost exclusively creating things because I felt that if I stopped or slowed down I was compromising my growth as an artist. That said, taking a break from making more finished illustrations has been incredibly freeing!

Having started working in a studio full time right after graduating from college I never really gave myself a break to step back from creating. I worked from 9-5, 5 days a week as an animator and designer and continued to write and draw after the day was done to develop my book pitch and sketch out other personal projects. I don’t think I realized how thin I was wearing myself until I stopped to take a break, and I’m glad I did because my wrist probably would have gotten carpal tunnel.

It’s been a weird feeling to be grateful for fatigue forcing me to slow down. Still, that is pretty much the only thing I can associate with it that’s positive. There have been many days where nausea and fatigue have kept me unable to do much of anything, so I didn’t have the energy to think about art for quite some time. That’s about as much detail as I’m comfortable sharing about that part of the experience for now, though. You came here for the art part of this after all!

The idea of “finished is better than perfect” has been driving me for years. In returning to getting back into drawing regularly I truly had to take some time to carve that message back into my skull. It was like I knew what kind of art I had made in the past, the kind art I admire, and the kind I aspire to try to make. I got a little bored with how I approached illustrations in the past. A huge step in moving past this feeling was to take my time and know when to walk away.

Most of these past months have been spent addressing my health and working on coloring for a TBA graphic novel with First Second, but I’m grateful to have been forced to take a break for once. Thanks for bearing with me, and I’m excited to try and get back into the swing of art again!

Thanks for reading and have a radical week!

-Jayme